Recorded Conservations Featuring Darth Malak - Dec 7 2013
Recorded in Svalbard Darth Malak: Cahill Three. I have news for you. Kal-El: Yes, sir? Darth Malak: Did I ask you to speak, little mole? *Kal-El shakes his head NO* Darth Malak: Then don’t. New mission. Cahill Two, Four, Five and Six have captured a gentleman known as Lon’qu. Kal-El: That idiot? Darth Malak: Yes, that one. You are to kidnap all of Lon’qu’s cousins. But do NOT capture Jai. I have plans for him. Kal-El: Very well. Darth Malak: Stay here, son of Jor-El. You are also to capture General Faora-Ul and bring her to me. I also want Vesper Two. That Albus whippersnapper made me have no eye. This artificial one feels like S#!%. Kal-El: Of course. Darth Malak: Vesper One and Two have been very sneaky. We will put a stop to this once we capture Faora-Ul, and use her as bait to give his empire to the Cahills! Kal-El: What about Amy and Dan? They’re still playing the Vespers little game. What should we do? Darth Malak: I have no further need for Amy and Dan Cahill. Leave them be. And, Cahill Three, take Nikita with you. She will be eager to return to the Vespers. Let’s do our little swap immediately. Kal-El: What about Vesper Five and Six? Darth Malak: Sadly, they are more powerful than you, Lieutenant. Do not run into them on your mission. Kal-El: Of course. Darth Malak: I also want you to start an event known as The Death Games. Kidnap twenty-four Vespers, twelve boys, and twelve girls, and place them in our little arena in Svalbard, and make them fight to their death. Kal-El: I will do it right away, sir. *Kal-El flies away* Darth Malak: I have no confidence he will succeed. He’s ridded of permanently. *Malak cruelly laughs, and then walks back to his office* December 7, 2013, at the Siberian Cahill Stronghold Darth Malak: HURRY UP! Unidentified man: Yes, sir. *Malak relaxes on his La-Z-Boy recliner* Unidentified man: My leader, I am proud to present you . . . live footage of the brats: Amy Hope Cahill and Daniel Arthur Cahill! Darth Malak: You have done well, Igor. I promote you to my personal assistant! Igor: Th-th-thank you, sire. Darth Malak: Don’t mention it, Lieutenant Commander Igor Ovshatov. Igor: Th-th-thank you, sire. Darth Malak: I said DON’T MENTION IT, Lieutenant Commander. Bring me some of that British breakfast thingy . . . how you say? Roundflats and oil. *Igor goes away to bring Malak “Roundflats and oil” (Biscuits and Tea)* *Malak smiles at the screen* Darth Malak: Stuck in Tunisia, eh? The police won’t even let you swim in the Mediterranean Sea. Ha! That amuses me. *Igor comes back, and brings Malak his “Roundflats and Oil”* *Malak dips his “Roundflat” in his “Oil”, takes a large bite, and licks his lips* Darth Malak: Nice roundflats, Igor! *Igor does not respond* Darth Malak: What the @#!*% ? Dan Cahill punching an innocent news reporter? I must send agents right away to kill him. *Igor sneaks into the room* Malak: Oi, Igor! Send Squad 2013L to Tunis. Tell them to kill Amy and Dan Cahill. I’ve had enough of them. *Igor makes a call on his phone* Malak: He he he he! Pierce will reward me with ruling the universe if I kill Amy and Dan Cahill . . . and certainly the Vespers will fail against vanquishing the Cahills! He he he he! Renzo: Anyone want soda? Darth Malak: Get your butt out of Siberia! No one drinks Soda! Renzo: yes sir.....(thinking: geez, I'm just asking)